Blame it on the Alcohol
by sylversmith
Summary: "We went to talk to Kankuro for a bit, then Haru and I went to dance, and all of a sudden we see you making out with this order of tall, dark, and handsome by the back wall." A college ShikaTema AU (possibly a oneshot). Rated T for language.


"Hey baby- can't say that I've seen you around here before, and let me tell you," Temari felt rather than saw his eyes rake down her body before finally returning back to her face, "I would have remembered someone like you."

She rolled her eyes before shouldering her way past the inebriated man, trusting her glare to clear the crowd of sweaty dancers between herself and the oblivious brunette at the bar.

"Oi! Kankuro! Where is my roommate."

Kankuro reluctantly turned away from the pretty blonde haired freshman to turn and face his sister. "Well, Temari, I would guess that Maki is probably out there having a good time with Haru. You know, what most people do at frat parties." He sighed in disappointment when he turned back to find that the blonde had already disappeared back in the crowd. He turned to shoot a glare at his sister for interrupting his conversation. Temari just smirked at the whole thing.

"What's the matter otouto? Losing your touch?"

Kankuro absently snorted at the insinuation before turning back to scan the crowd for a flash of platinum blonde. "If anyone here is losing their touch, it's you. Junior year and you can't even loosen up enough to enjoy your last free day before the semester starts." He finally relaxed when he caught sight of her in a small group of freshies.

"Please. If I wanted to go somewhere to 'loosen up', I'd be at a bar. The only reason I'm here is because Maki told me that she and Haru were coming to hang out with Sasori and I'd be able to get free booze- and no, that piss that you guys call beer does _not_ count." Kankuro smirked at her dangerously.

"Oh? Is that really all you were looking for?" Temari narrowed her eyes at him in warning. "I'm sure that it has nothing to do with tonight being Gaara's first time at a real college party and you playing mother hen."

Temari flushed with anger, giving Kankuro all the answer that he needed. He laughed jovially at her sputtering before nimbly jumping over the bar, tossing Temari a water bottle filled with a suspicious red liquid, returning in a similarly theatrical fashion, and bowing to the small crowd that had been watching.

"You've got to be kidding me," Temari deadpanned when a particularly confident sophomore let out a wolf-whistle.

"Oh dearest sister, you know that I never joke in matters of the heart." She rolled her eyes before taking a heavy swig from the water bottle, ignoring the burn of the vodka.

"Yeah, ok. When was the last time you looked at an anatomical drawing? I think that you might have your body parts confused, because the only body part you ever seem to talk about…"

"Hmm, you know what, you may be right." Temari just stared at him, confused by his easy acquiescence. "Well, you got your free booze, and if you check out your three o'clock, you'll see that Gaara has decided to take after the better half of the family and should be having plenty of fun tonight." WIthout batting an eye, Temari took another healthy swallow, knowing full well that her youngest sibling was surrounded by a small crowd of first year girls in the far corner of the room.

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why you keep looking over my shoulder."

Kankuro grinned at her again. "Well, I'm just going to take your sisterly advice and go follow up with a certain pre-med major to see if they can't help me with my… anatomical knowledge."

Temari rolled her eyes as he walked past her, but kept her silence. She knew her brother well enough to know that even if he may 'talk the talk', he would never _actually_ take advantage of a drunk girl. As if to prove her point, she watched him detour towards the same sleaze who had tried to pick her up earlier and calmly whisper something in his ear that made the younger man pale in fear.

Yes, as much as she and her brother bickered, she knew that he was a good person at heart. Plus, he did have a point. It was her last day of freedom until officially starting her junior year. She took another swig from the bottle before finally catching sight of a her roommate and a group of friends in their own dance circle across the room. She felt the smile slowly unfurl across her face as the alcohol and music began to take effect.

* * *

"Temari! Temari! You have to wake up!"

Temari rolled over and tried to open her eyes before clenching them shut in pain. "Maki, please tell me that it is not 8am." Even with her eyes closed she could feel her friend's sympathetic smile.

"Sorry hon', but you know that I can't lie."

Temari groaned loudly. "Just… tell me we have ibuprofen."

"Ok. I'll go fetch you the pills AND make sure Haru is making enough breakfast for three, BUT, there's a catch." Temari slowly turned herself over to show that she was listening. Vertigo or not, it was still better than opening her eyes. "You have to also tell me about that guy you found last night."

"WHAT?!" Momentarily forgetting her condition, Temari sat bolt upright in bed, eyes open before quickly snapping them shut and holding her head in pain. Hearing her friend's laughter, Temari promptly grabbed a pillow and chucked it in the general direction of her _ex_ best friend.

"Oh man. I wish that you could see yourself right now."

"Shut up Maki. Tell me that you're joking."

"Would if I could, would if I could." Maki quickly left the room before coming back a moment later. "Ok, here's your water and some pills, now SPILL!"

"Ugh. Fine. Give me a second to think." Temari slowly drank the water and thought through the night. "Well, I remember dancing with you, Haru, and Suki for a while." Maki nodded in agreement "And I remember running into Gaara on my way back from the bar with my refill."

Maki made a disbelieving noise "Right. 'Running into'- don't try to deny it girl, you were half out of your mind worrying that he was going to drink alcohol while on his meds." Temari rolled her eyes but knew that she couldn't refute the claim.

"As I was saying, I ran into Gaara and his new blonde friend and saw that Kankuro was still hanging out with that first year pre-med student that caught his eye…" Temari narrowed her eyes, trying to recall the hazy memory.

Maki noticed her struggling and decided to interject. "I think that you mean he was trying to hang out with her. From what I remember, she wouldn't stop ogling that dark haired guy that was lurking around Gaara's blonde friend… But yeah, we went to talk to Kankuro for a bit, then Haru and I went to dance, and all of a sudden we see you making out with this order of tall, dark, and handsome by the back wall…"

… And just like that it came back.

"Oh my God! It was him!"

"Yes, I saw the 'him', but I want to know the 'who' and the 'how'." Temari glared at her roommate before wincing from her hangover. "No, I mean. Ugh. Well, I ran out of drink while talking with Kankuro and ended up walking back to the bar to get more. Along the way I end up bumping into this guy… Shin? Shira? Fuck, I don't know. He was asking me about the fraternity and saying some misogynistic comments about why girls throw themselves at shady guys, so I pointed out how he was the one in the dark corner of a frat house, so we started talking…"

"You mean sniping," Maki interjected.

Temari closed her eyes, knowing that she would feel no satisfaction in rolling her eyes at her friend in her current condition. "I'll have you know that I can be perfectly civil when I want to be." She heard a snort of laughter coming from the kitchen. "Hey! I don't need you giving me shit too, Haru!"

She looked at Maki darkly, but saw her friend looking at her with warm eyes. "So?"

Temari huffed out the air in her lungs and looked away. "Well, I mean, there's not much more to tell. We start going back and forth and he finally says some shit about how I'm 'troublesome' and I just ask him what he's going to do about it." She looked up at her friend's now shocked expression. "Oh God Maki, don't look at me like that."

"What? I mean, you flirted with him! You actually flirted with him!"

"I did not!" Temari sputtered, thinking back to the interaction. "I wasn't coming on to him! I was mad at him!"

She turned to the doorway where Haru had started leaning on the door frame. "First, breakfast is ready. Second, speaking from my opinion, you were definitely flirting."

Maki laughed conspiratorially. "Excellent. So then he kissed you."

"No! He didn't kiss me because I wasn't flirting with him!"

Maki and Haru shared a look, both surprised. "You mean… he seriously didn't kiss you?"

"No." Temari crossed her arms indignantly.

Maki was the first to recover as she noticed the slow blush creeping over her friend's face. "Well, if he didn't kiss you, then that still doesn't explain how you ended the night lip locked with said 'smart ass'." Haru smiled deviously and nodded.

"Yeah Temari, how did you go from 'not flirting' to full on first base?"

Temari finally let out a sigh. "Well, he starts grumbling about how he's not drunk enough to deal with me, so I tell him that it's not about alcohol, it's about manning up and saying what he wants to say…" Temari slowly grew silent, knowing what was about to come.

Maki and Haru burst out laughing at the same time while Temari fell back in bed with a sigh of defeat. "And THEN he kissed you."

"And then he kissed me." Temari laid back in bed, recounting the experience in her head while Maki and Haru got their 'I told you so's. It certainly wasn't the first time Temari had made out with a guy at a fraternity party, but it was the first time that the male component was more focused on her arguments than her cleavage. Not to say that he hadn't eventually started looking down. Her lips tingled in response to the memories and she felt her mouth quirk into a slow smile thinking back on their conversation.

"Um, Temari."

Temari pressed her eyes together in frustration, realizing that her roommate must have seen her reaction. "Yeah, Maki, I know. I'm grinning like an idiot." She looked over when her roommate didn't respond immediately and saw her slack jawed in surprise. "What? Isn't that what you were about to say?"

"No, I was going to say that it's already 8:30 and you're going to be late for your T.A. job, but we are DEFINITELY talking about this later!"

Temari turned in panic to look at the alarm clock by her bedside before sprinting for the bathroom. "Fuck!"

* * *

"Shikamaru, hurry up! There's no way that I'll get the best seat if we show up late!"

Holding his head with one hand and his backpack strap with the other, Shikamaru continued to plod along, trying to shield his eyes from the harsh light. "Best seat for what, Ino? The lecture or admiring Sasuke?"

"You know what… oh my God! There's Sakura! No way that forehead is getting there before me!"

After hearing her race ahead, Shikamaru peeked from behind the shadow of his hand, happy to see that Ino had left them behind. Childhood friend or not, she was loud. "You know, it's probably not a good idea to be late to our very first class." Shikamaru continued walking with his hand over his face, but blindly reached over to the side where he knew he'd find his friend's bag of chips.

"Yeah, I know, but the odds of them actually starting on time are low enough to be worth it." His friend didn't say anything, letting them continue walking in comfortable silence.

"So, Temari, huh?"

"Yeah. But I only got her name because her brother told me that he'd murder me if I told anyone else what happened."

Chouji continued to munch on his chips in thought. "Aren't you a little worried."

Shikamaru sighed, but dropped his hand as they walked into their building. "Not really. I mean, the odds that we see each other again and she actually recognizes me are even lower than the odds that we get in trouble for being late."

"Yeah?"

Shikamaru nodded, quietly; trying to focus on figuring out how long he'd have to stay awake in the coming class rather than think of the curvy blonde spitfire from the night before.

"Hmm… well what if you do see each other again?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Honestly, I don't even know, Chouji. Normally I'd just ignore her, but she was _so_ troublesome. Like, even more than Ino _and_ Mom." Shikamaru grew quiet, taking solace in the familiar sound of crunching chips as they walked through the hallway in search of the right room.

"You know, Shikamaru," Chouji stated, opening the door to their lecture hall, "not for nothing, but my dad once told me that the only problem a Nara couldn't solve is one that they didn't want to."

He stopped to look at Shikamaru, but found his friend staring at the front of the classroom in shock. "Shit."

* * *

Temari stood to the side of the auditorium, hoping that Professor Hatake would excuse her after introducing herself to the class and taking attendance. It's not that she disliked the class, she just knew that Kakashi was one of those people who would be late to his own funeral, and she felt awkward standing in front of hundreds of students while visibly hungover. She noticed her brother's latest crush in the third row and winced as a look of recognition crossed the girl's face.

_Note to self: never again hang out at a party with freshmen._

Knowing that there were still a few minutes left before Kakashi arrived, she turned to her bag to organize her notes and grab the attendance sheet; ignoring the last few stragglers that arrived.

When she turned back to face the class, she was nothing but business. She paced the hall, making sure to fill each word and gesture with deliberation and authority. "Since I will be sharing office hours with the professor, I hope to get to know most of you throughout the duration of the semester. That being said, I'd like to start by taking attendance- which, you will note, is worth 10% of your final grade." She smirked as the class audibly groaned.

"Aoto Watanabe"

"Here"

"Ayaka Ito"

"Here"

With each name she read on the list, she grew more confident, but she also began to get distracted.

"Chouji Akimichi"

"Here"

"Daimaru Sato"

"Here"

_Daimaru… was that? No, it definitely started with an 'S'…_

"Eita Nakamura"

"Here"

She became even more emboldened when Kakashi arrived halfway through, giving her the thumbs up to leave when she finished.

_Maybe I could check with Kankuro, see if anyone at the fraternity knew him. What was his name? Shomaru…_

"Riza Kato"

"Here"

"Sakura Haruno"

""Here"

"Shikamaru…"

…And just like that, her mind stuttered to a halt, looking upwards to the very back of the classroom at the upraised arm where her eyes met a familiar brown.

"Shit."

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it. I got this idea a few days back and felt my muse (who I thought was essentially dead) start stirring to life again. I've never wanted to write a college AU, and I know it's been done, but I hope that you enjoyed nonetheless! If I keep feeling inspired I may continue.


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